I was sitting with a friend watching her flip through dating profiles on a popular dating app and I noticed a very disturbing trend. There were many guys on the site that got themselves ruled out with the first glance at their picture. Now this had nothing to do with them being attractive or not. It was simply the type of picture they had chosen to post. So after giggling about a few of them I really started to feel bad and figured I would offer some advice instead.
Disclaimer: The following views are mine personally and I imagine they are not all universally true for every woman. Also this advice is for those men that want to find someone to actually date and not just have a one night stand. That is a whole different post.
Rule #1 No shirtless pics. I don’t care how ripped you are, we want a little left to the imagination.
Rule #2 No pictures with your kids. Yes they are adorable but it isn’t the same as taking a picture with a puppy. It is not that we won’t date a man with kids, but it says you probably introduce your kids to everyone you date because you have already plastered their sweet little faces all over a dating site. (The ex may not appreciate that either.)
Rule #3 Post at least one picture where we can see all of you. Don’t worry about being judged. It is better to have someone look at your profile and not contact you because they don’t find you attractive then to have them pissed when you show up to the first date 50 lbs heavier. There is nothing wrong with a larger guy, but their is a problem with someone that is intentionally trying to lie.
Rule #4 Be honest in your profile. Looking for someone to date casually DOES NOT mean the same thing as friends with benefits. If that is what you want then state it loud and clear. You will get many more positive responses to what you are looking for if you are up front.
Rule #5 Post a picture period. Witty quotes are cute but you will never get someone to return a message from you if we don’t know what you look like. See Rule #3.
Rule #6 Don’t post pictures with other women. They might be your sister, your cousin, or just a friend but we will automatically look at them and wonder if they are the ex-girlfriend. Also it should go without saying – No pictures with the ex. Not even with her face blacked out….just don’t.
Rule #7 Smile! There were so many pictures of men trying to look hard and have this “I’m about to kick your ass” look going on. Smiling is so much more attractive on a guy. Smiles say you are fun and sexy. It doesn’t make you any less macho to smile.
Rule#8 The shooting from the hip camera angle is no one’s friend. No one.
Rule #9 Your profile is not the place to get on a soap box about how no one is responding to your messages and you are getting frustrated with the site. That makes you sound like the guy that sends pics of your junk after texting a girl for 5 minutes and wonders why she doesn’t text back. There might be a reason you aren’t getting any responses.
One last piece of advice, if you are looking for a girl to see more than once, you probably should put some effort into your first message to her. Here are some phrases not to use unless you are looking for just a hookup:
“Hey sexy”, “Fun size”, “hello” (only and nothing else), “Hey cutie”, “wanna have some fun?”
All of these indicate you are ready to jump into bed, or can’t be more creative and actually ask them a question about something you may have read on their profile. This means you will have to make an effort here if you really want a response.
I hope this helps a few of you. I am sure I will have offended some and that is fine, then this advice is not for you. Keep holding your phone at your hip staring into the camera with your meanest face and taking pictures of your shirtless body and I truly hope you find a girl that you can bring home to mama, but I doubt it.